Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
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