did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Randomize
