In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
