Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
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