fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
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