I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Randomize
