your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
