please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
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