if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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