why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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