this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
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