with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
