Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Randomize
