Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
