wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
