I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
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