so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I love having hate sex.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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