The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
