Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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