the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Randomize
