my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
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