dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
