So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
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