Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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