He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize