Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
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