Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
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