i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
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I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
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Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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