I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize