the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize