I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
