hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Of course I have a pirate flag
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
