My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
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