we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
