I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
