So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize
