oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
my shit smells like andre
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
