she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
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