his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
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