Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Randomize
