Joe is yelling at the trees again.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Randomize
