I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
My bed is full of blood and feathers
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Randomize
