I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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