Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
