I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
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