Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
40s are totally the cure
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Randomize
