Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
