I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
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