fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
