dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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