So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
