There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
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