Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
