Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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