It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Randomize
