real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
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