You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Randomize
