Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Randomize
